Aggravation

So my best friend is coming home (actually he is moving home) after being away for almost two years. I am so excited I can hardly stand it, but it seems like every little thing is getting on my nerves. He is on the road now, he has been since Friday afternoon but instead of telling Jason and I when he will get here, he is stopping to visit one of our mutual friends while on the way and all he can tell us is that he will see us on Sat. I know Rodney has missed him too but come on! Rodney will be over here Saturday night to see him so why does he have to stop there at 4 am? I know I am being petty but since this is my blog, I am allowed. :) Is it too much to ask to be told when he should get here so we can be ready? I mean come on, its just polite people.

Next issue is that every time he has come to visit or moves back, people are waiting at my house for him to get here. I know everyone loves him, but we are best friends and I would freaking LOVE some time alone with him before everyone descends on us. I would NEVER be so rude as to assume I should be waiting on someone to arrive at a friends. But now, Rodney will have time alone with him but we won't because Rodney will come with him. Plus, Melissa called all in a mood asking to come over. This makes twice that she has done this. Last time he came to visit, he was here for 10 days, I finally got time alone with him (30 minutes) on the 7th day. I felt like I had to tell Melissa she could come on over even though I don't want anyone here when he gets here.

Now, he wants to party Saturday night. I have NO problem with that. It has been forever since I partied with my Russian. But, I was planning on making a special meal for him and Jason. Now he has invited over three more people. Jason and I are on a very tight budget. We juggle the bills every month. I can't afford to feed all these people. I just assumed that we would eat later after Jason got off and by then everyone else will have eaten, but no, he is telling them that I am cooking a special dinner. Now, because it is expected, I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow and supplement what I already have so that I can feed six people instead of three. I can't afford that! As it is I have had to use my birthday money on bills.

Now my last point which has nothing to do with Kos. We are broke. We can't even afford the gas to get to church. Every single dollar is budgeted toward something like bills or food or gas. I am in school and doing really well but Jason is supporting us. I don't like the fact that I am so worried about bills all the time. We haven't been able to buy each other Christmas, Valentines or birthday presents in over two years. I think I should cut back on school and at least take a part-time job but Jason says he doesn't want me to. In a way that is good because I would end up working full time with no school but as it is now, shouldn't I be contributing? I feel really bad. If only I could make money by studying. I'd be good at that.

I think I am going to have to apply for food stamps and unemployment. Of course knowing that we only pay 50 a month in rent to my father, I will be denied because he "could" help us. What the hell am I supposed to do? We can't keep going like this!