How to deal with sibling treatment

My sister told me yesterday that because I was stolen and lost so early in life, the family watched everyone with her. She was not even allowed to hug her own father or sit on his lap because it was deemed inappropriate. That is horribly sad to me! I was held and hugged and loved all the time. I always knew I was adopted but I was never treated as if I was. They truly raised me as if I was their own child. I never had to wonder where my clothes or meals were coming from as oppossed to my siblings. I want to meet my brother Chris. He is hating the fact that he is in prison while I am here. I hate it too. Everyone has said that he is not allowed to live with them when he gets out and I worry about that. If he has no support network and no where to live, he will stay where he can and that means he will be living with his old drug buddies and how can he possibly stay clean there? I know he has done this to himself but I do want to help him stay clean. I feel like it is a new start with me and I want him to really understand that. At the same time, I have no patience for the type of trouble he has gotten into before. Amanda says that when he gets out, he will find a way to Charlotte to visit me. I hope he does it the legal way, it would break my heart if he used me as an excuse to break the law.

I have told him that he is important to me. I have told him I love him. I have told him I want to meet him. It's all true. It does drive me nuts though that he talks all the time about how hard his life has been. Okay so your life was hard. Get over it and move on, don't use that as an excuse for your bad choices. I feel like by saying that, he is avoiding responsibilty for his actions. My sister is going to take me to meet my great aunt tomorrow. My grandmother's sister. That is going to be amazing.

It hits me all the time that I am with my birth family but there is so much pain at the thought that I never got to meet my mother or father. They both passed too early. I wish Momma had just written me a letter telling me how she felt about me. I know because everyone is telling me, but I wish I could hear it from her in some way shape or form. It is amazing to have this large family I never knew but my adopted mother doesn't talk to me and I always dreamed of having a mother. It breaks my heart that I was too late to find her. I'm going to sign off before I get too emotional.

Spending Time With Family

Well, I am in Georgia, spending time with my family and introducing my husband to them. I love being here absolutely and I feel accepted and like I fit right in with all of them. I love it here with them. I have two beautiful nieces and a nephew. My brother Marshall made up a photo album full of pictures of our childhood to share with my birth family. I never expected that! I'm so happy. My adopted family seems to accept and be happy for my finding the birth family. I have more emotions than I could ever actually state but my biggest one (other than joy) is guilt. I feel guilty for the way my brother and sister were raised as opposed to the way I was raised. I had a privileged childhood and my siblings struggled and went without. I know that I shouldn't feel guilty because I had no actual control over it but I still do. I'm worried they will end up hating me for it. I don't know what I would do without Amanda, Christopher, or the kids. Gabby, my little snugglebug is curled against me at present and she is going to put on a special show for me. She is acting and directing it and I can't wait. I have an advanced ticket! I am just so disappointed that Chris can't be here for all this. I want to spend time with my brother too. It isn't right that he has been left out of all the fun. Well Amanda has made us dinner so I'm going to sign off for now and write more later. I will just leave it at, God must have had a plan. Amanda just said that she and Chris might have ended up in the foster system and had more of the things they needed but then we might never have found each other. So God has a purpose for everything, we may just not be aware of what it was. That is all for me. Peace out.